It wasn’t meant to be that way.
In another dimension – one where science isn’t “an opinion”, where health may be a right, where Quibi is that the name of a star baby rather than anything – Fashion Week would move forward. There would be triumphs and fashion, breakout faces wearing sponsored mascara, and thus the occasional “that didn’t need to be a show” sigh of weary editors over a micro-drip of cold brew and tea bulky accessories. In other words, the shredded happiness of our jobs.
Instead, we’re here in a more twisted timeline, exclaiming “it’s so good to see you!” albeit half of our faces are covered. And that’s where Christian Siriano appears. (For real though – during the show he seemed to magically appear from behind a tree in his backyard, shouting “it’s so good to see you!” While wearing a mask – one among the 750,000 he has created for frontline workers since the start of the pandemic.)
Along with helping solve the PPE shortage in this dimension and making TikTok videos with Sarah Jessica Parker, the 34-year-old designer has done exactly what we all have: bing old movies in her pajamas. “Viewing comfort may even be a very real McCoy,” he says, “and to me that’s not telling mum the babysitter is dead.” The 1991 comedy stars Christina Applegate as a high school student pretending to be a fashion executive. Its glorious finale has a dizzying group of teens wearing Balmain-meets-Burger-King versions of fast food uniforms on a catwalk made from pool floats. And for several current millennials – Siriano included – “this was the primary time I had seen a runway, or maybe realized that fashion might be work.”
Or within the case of Siriano’s latest collection, an excellent job. Along with the expected (and exquisite) outfits like lipstick poufs and pink princess skirts, there were flared pants and cropped check blazers that could rekindle a dreaded Zoom reunion fairly quickly. See also: a black lace corset with a skirt wearing femurs for maximum Hailey Baldwin vibe (and a brief crush on the Ghosts of Wang Fests Past). Of course, there were options for the Emmy Awards because the show still takes place (sort of, sort of …) on Sunday, with bombshells like Lauren Chan and Sabrina Karlsson, who was dressed as a Connecticut Persephone in yellow muslin and so many daisies. (An ode to Drew Barrymore, who filmed a segment with Siriano for his new talk show?)
Then there was Coco Rocha, who closed the show in a tight scarlet dress while pregnant with her third child. (Mazel Tov, Coco!) “It’s the only show she’ll have to do this season with the baby in her womb,” Siriano sighed. Even the die-hard CrossFit participants among us never could. And while the move is very reminiscent of Shelley Long’s pool dive in Troop Beverly Hills (another designer’s favorite), Siriano swears it wasn’t choreographed. “To be honest, we told her to be free – Coco is such an inspiration, which truly trust her in my clothes – but I don’t know what she was going to do!” the creator said after the show. “It was not planned, but what happened this year?”
In this alternate timeline, Rocha would have somehow emerged from the pool as an X-Men goddess, posed while soaked, and was lifted by an energy drink sponsored helicopter. In it, Christian Siriano took his bow laughing, surrounded by women of all body types and skin colors, as a fashion-savvy audience clapped, “ grumbled and smiled widely, as it it was a beautiful day and there were some lovely things in it – although those things needed help getting out of a saltwater pool before they could continue.
So wait, maybe it was meant to be like this? Anyway, forward.
Christian Siriano Splashes In Connecticut For Spring 2021
It wasn’t meant to be that way.